I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize