they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
