I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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