The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
