your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
