Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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