somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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