your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
