Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
