Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
