where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize