I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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