We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
