Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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