i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
