It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
