Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize