Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
