I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
