Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
