I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
