he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
