she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
