I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
