Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize