fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
