i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
