oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
