maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Found the puke drawer
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
