So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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