Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
