Kiss
Puke
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
