Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Sober January is a disaster.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
His nipple licking is glorious
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