I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
