I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
