If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
