youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
