everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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