was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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