Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
