I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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