Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
