Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
