I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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