Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
