Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize