Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I smell like Dick and happiness
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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