I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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