quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
