i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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