were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
