i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
