You really coming over, don't trick.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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