ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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