The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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