she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
