The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
