The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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