I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
