all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
