your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
