Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
