If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
